lonely

It’s interesting to note that for a city like Karachi, which is sometimes called a metropolis by some, and cosmopolitan by others, there is no place for someone who wants to walk the streets. There is no area, even those that are deemed the “happening” places where one can just walk, shop and stop for a bite to eat, while watching a place that is pleasant, leave alone beautiful to look at.

Why this is the case, no one can really say. Perhaps in their minds, for the elite of the city, there is no real reason for mere beauty. Perhaps all that is needed are the ‘happening’ parties or restaurants where one can mingle with those that belong to the same class and background. There really is no need for any added interaction with anyone else.

For me, walking silently on my own has always been an ideal pastime. Walking the streets of New York, just watching the others passing by, would be an experience into itself. There was no need for another; me and New York would be enough. We’d give each other company, wherever I went, and have a grand old time.

But today, I am undeniably lonely. And perhaps, I have just come to terms with it in the sense that I don’t particularly make an effort of any sort to move ahead, and pull myself out of this loneliness. It is enough for me to blame my so-called bad luck on circumstances and bad decisions, in order to justify the pathetic state that is my life, for the most part at least.

And I can’t help but be discontent about the way things are. There has to be more for me. There is a whole world out there, isn’t there, that is beautiful, invigorating, and perhaps the most important quality – that it is unreachable? Perhaps it is human nature – or at least mine for the most part, to be discontent, snide and nasty about the life I have; perhaps it is only by looking down on what I have can I justify it.

Odd, isn’t it?